From the Mouth of a Six-Year-Old: Ambition

Me: When you grow up do you want to be a businesswoman or a doctor or what?
Fin: Miss Universe!

From the Mouth of a Six-Year-Old: Pants

While driving with Fin...
Fin: Is that girl wearing pants or no?
Me: I didn't see.
Fin: Maybe her pants is the same color with her skin. It looks like she's wearing a tshirt only. Eeeewwww

From the Mouth of a Six-Year-Old: Christmas

In the toy department of Gaisano Country Mall
Fin: I'm panicking! There's so many toys!

–o–o–

Daddy Dennis: Fin! I saw Santa in the sky!
Fin: Whaaaaaa!!! Did you video him???

From the Mouth of a Six-Year-Old: Inventory

Fin is checking out the Christmas gifts on the table.
Fin: Why does Yuan have so many gifts?
Me: (I think there's five for Yuan.) You have many gifts man under your tree.
Fin: Only thirteen.

From the Mouth of a Six-Year-Old: Remix

Fin singing: Bahay kubo, balikat ulo!

From the Mouth of a Six-Year-Old: Perspective

Fin is drawing my portrait.
Me: Dakoa sa head uy!
Fin: Because you're bigger than me!

From the Mouth of a Six-Year-Old: Fin-isms

I have six things on my wishlist. Six like my age.

–o–o–

I have a headache. When I shake my head, my half brain is sakit.

–o–o–

I'm so tired. I need somebody to massage my feet.

Nightshift

Overheard at the pantry at 8AM when the night shift was just wrapping up:
Nightshift Boy: Na buhay lagi ka?
Nightshift Girl: Namatay diay ko?

Conversations with Friends: Photo Please

Juven: Pwede ka namo picturan? Full body. With pleasing personality.

Conversations with Friends: Blocked

Chrisna: Dili lagi ka kadawat sa akong mga text? Basin imo ko giblock.
Chay: Dako ra kaayo ka para iblock.

Conversations with Friends: Sniffles

I have the sniffles...
Chrisna: What happened to your nose?
Me: It's running. Maayo pa akong nose, ga exercise.

Conversations with Friends: See you

As Manuel was leaving the office to go on Christmas break, somebody called out, "Kita lang ta sa COC!"

Conversations with Friends: Anay

Marvin (to me): Gahi imong kamot. Man hands. Sa age ni.
Me: Murag baboy. Ang baktin humok, ang anay gahi. So anay ko?
Marvin: Wala pa man kay anak.
Marvin (to Juven): Unsay tawag sa anay na wa pay anak?
Juven: Virgin nga anay.

Conversations with Friends: Di na makit-an

Malou: Wala na ko sa 2016. Dili na ko makita ninyo.
Chrisna: Mangitom na ka???
Malou: Kay naa na ko sa iyahang heart!

Conversations with Friends: Juven's Thesaurus

Juven: Phlegm red.
Ley: Phlegm of Recca?
Juven: Di uy. Eternal Phlegm.

–o–o–

Juven: Unsa na? Dedicated coconut?
Ley: May pa ang coconut, dedicated.

–o–o–

Glossil: Ngano'ng dugay man ka nakatulog?
Juven: Gi-amnesia ko.

–o–o–

Juven: Di ko ganahan ug embudo na naay raisins.

–o–o–

Juven: Di motan-aw akong uyab ug Star Wars kay OPM iyang hilig. Old Pilipino Movies.

From the Mouth of a Four-Year-Old: Aaron

Joseph: No doubt tumataba ako dito sa Cebu.
Aaron: Tumataba? Gusto mo bang maging pig?

Conversations with Friends: Raffle

Me: Wala gyud koy swerte anang mga raffle. Di gyud ko kadaog.
Alex: Sige lang. You've won my heart.

From the Mouth of a Three-Year-Old: Zion

Me: Zion the lion! Zion, are you a lion?
Zion: No...
Me: What are you?
Zion: I am a Zion!

–o–o–

Zion is eating bread...
Me: Zion, ngayo ko...
Zion gives me a small piece (the size of a one peso coin)
Me: Ngayo pa ko...
Zion: No! Enough na!

Conversations with Friends: Tiyan

Kristenne: Naglain ako tiyan sa Krispy Kreme.
Ley: Hala, grabeha na jud ka sensitive sa imo tiyan, Tin.
Kristenne: Lagi, Ley. Mas sensitive pa sa akong feelings.
Ley: Choosy na sya ug food. Naliwat na nato.

Conversations with Friends: Hugot Line

Kristenne: Unsa ang fire drill? Employee engagement?
Juven: May pa ang employee, naay engagement.

Conversations with Friends: Kulang

Juven: Tin, pila'y kulang nako nimo, Tin?
Kristenne: Kuan...pagtagad.

Conversations with Friends: Name your tree

Name your own tree for tree planting. What will you name your tree?
Kristenne: Rico. Para Rico Puno.
Jane: One Two. Para One Two Tree.
Ley: Victor. Para Victor Wood.

From the Mouth of a Five-Year-Old: Books

Yuan gazing hard at my shelf.
Yuan: Why do you have so many.....
Me: Books?
Yuan: ....dust on your books?

From the Mouth of a Five-Year-Old: Rainmaker

Fin takes my rainmaker.
Fin: I know what's inside! It's rice!
Me: How did you know???
Fin (holds up a grain): It's buslot!

From the Mouth of a Five-Year-Old: Goat

Fin: Tita Wena is a goat.
Me: Why?
Fin: Because she does not ligo after swim.

From the Mouth of a Five-Year-Old: Puppies

Me: Fin, are you giving away your puppies?
Fin: Yes....but I like the tambok puppies.
Me: Oh, the puppies are tambok?
Fin: Yes, tambok. Like you!

From the Mouth of a Five-Year-Old: Comparison

I sit beside Carla so that I am facing Fin...
Fin: Tita Carla, you're tamboker than Tita Khonie.

From the Mouth of a Five-Year-Old: Protective

Me: When you grow up, Yuan will protect you.
Fin: No, I will protect Yuan. Because I am bigger.

From the Mouth of a Five-Year-Old: What do you want to be?

Scene from The Spongebob Movie: Sponge Out of Water

Yuan: Daddy, I want to be a bone king!

From the Mouth of a Five-Year-Old: Fashion Lesson

Lessons in fashion from a five-year-old:
Me: Nice pants, Fin! Skinny jeans?
Fin: No.
Me: Leggings?
Fin: No! Jeggings!

From the Mouth of a Five-Year-Old: Excuse

Fin plays with my hair and then puts it in her mouth.
Me: Don't eat my hair.
Fin: I'm just testing my teeth.

From the Mouth of a Five-Year-Old: Dragon

I hear somebody coughing...
Me: Yuan is that you?
Yuan: It's not Yuan.
Me: Who's there?
Yuan: I'm a dragon.
Me: Dragons can talk?
Yuan: Rawwrrrrr!

From the Mouth of a Five-Year-Old: Kids Planet

The kids are going to Kids Planet in J Mall.
Me: Can I go with you?
Yuan: No.
Me: Why?
Yuan: Because you're not a kid.

From the Mouth of a Five-Year-Old: Skinny Pants

Fin: I don't like skinny pants.
Me: Why?
Fin: So tight.

From the Mouth of a Five-Year-Old: Cousin

Fin (crying): I hate my cousin (Yuan)! I don't love my cousin anymore!!!

From the Mouth of a Five-Year-Old: Cute

Fin: Leila (Fin's dog) is so cute!
Me: Like you. You're cute.
Fin: Hey! I'm not cute. I'm cool, remember?

Conversations with Friends: F**k Song

During Breakfast, Brennan asks Du Vien, who is Chinese–Vietnamese but grew up and is living in Scotland:
Brennan: Do you have a Scottish fock song?
Du Vien (with a puzzled look on his face): It's too early for that.
Du Vien: Oh, you mean folk song!

Overheard at the Pantry: Boundary

Brian Molisimo: Pasok na uy, Pasok. Boundary sa Pajo ug Pusok.

(Pajo and Pusok are barangays in Lapu–lapu.)

From the Mouth of a Five-Year-Old: Karate

Why Fin will join a karate class:
"When somebody's bothering me, I will kick their tintin!"

From the Mouth of a Five-Year-Old: Before Taking Up Karate

On karate...
Fin (to me): You have to exercise first. So you can karate. So you can raise your feet.

(Yes, Fin, I know I'm tambok hehehe)

From the Mouth of a Five-Year-Old: Marshmallow

Yuan to Mommy Cy: You're like a walking marshmallow. You're so cute! (Pinagigil sa bilbil ni mommy.)

From the Mouth of a Five-Year-Old: Mumble

Fin: (mumble, mumble, mumble)
Me: What, Fin?
Fin: It's a party in the mouth.

From the Mouth of a Five-Year-Old: Permission Not Needed

Mommyla: Fin, did you ask Daddylo if you can come with us?
Me: No need na, diba Fin?
Fin: Because you (mommyla and daddylo) are part of my parents.

From the Mouth of a Five-Year-Old: Independence

Fin: I want to go to Kid's Planet by myself.
Yuan: No...
Me: No. You go with Yuan.
Fin: I mean I want to go without yaya.

From the Mouth of a Five-Year-Old: Don't Boss Me Around

Erick asks Fin to give him the bowl of popcorn that is sitting on the floor by Erick's chair.
Fin: You have hands.

From the Mouth of a Five-Year-Old: Stubborn Dirt

Fin is mopping the floor and the dirt won't come off...
Fin: Curse you, dirt!!!

From the Mouth of a Five-Year-Old: Janitor

The kids are fighting over the mop.
Erick: You want to be a janitor?
Fin: I want!
Yuan: Fin can't be a janitor. Only boys.

From the Mouth of a Five-Year-Old: Theory

Erick: We have no more (Daddylo's) chickens in the house. What happened?
Yuan: Kaon...
Erick: Who ate the chickens?
Fin: Aswang.

From the Mouth of a Five-Year-Old: What Animal Are You?

Yuan: I'm a mouse.
Fin: Okay, I'm the cat coz I'm big!

(True, Fin is bigger than Yuan.)

From the Mouth of a Five-Year-Old: iPad

The iPad wouldn't power on...
Fin (to iPad): Curse you!
Yuan (to iPad): You're stupid!

Conversations with Friends: Croissants

On the topic of croissants
Justinne: Have the croissants reheated and they are good as new.
Brennan: Murag favorite underwear nimo.
Justinne: Plantsahon lang!

From the Mouth of a Five-Year-Old: Ears

Fin and Yuan are standing right in front of the TV, blocking Erick's view. Erick turns up the volume and the kids scramble away. Fin looks at Erick and goes, " You almost killed my ears!!!"

From the Mouth of a Five-Year-Old: Guilty

Yuan: I give him (Oreo, the dog) the (chicken) bone.
Me: Don't! He will choke! You gave it to him?
Yuan (guilty face): Yes... He's not dead.

From the Mouth of a Five-Year-Old: Come Here

Mommyla: Yuan, come here... Yuan...
Yuan: I'm not a dog!

From the Mouth of a Five-Year-Old: Full

Yuan to Mommy Cy: Enough milk na please. My heart said it's busog na.

From the Mouth of a Five-Year-Old: Bone

While Erick and Yuan are having dinner...
Fin (to Erick): You're eating the bone?
Erick: Yeah
Fin: You're a dog?!